Being a half, mixed, barely...

[grneydhalfbreed (deleted)]

Being only half Ojibwe, I used to get a lot of crap from native americans and non natives a like growing up. I still do occasionally, but I've learned to ignore people. When people see me hug and kiss my grandmother who is full blooded, they stare and sometimes, they ask "Is she really your grandma?".

Growing up, mean native girls would call me "white B----" like it was supposed to hurt my feelings. When we moved off the rez, when I told my class mates that I was native american, the kids called me "indian giver" and savage. None of the names bothered me. But these days...I find it hard to ignore some people comments aimed towards me, the looks they give me.

If I go to a powwow, I really have to steer clear. Literally. If I were to bump into a native girl, if she were with a bunch of other girls, she'd say something like "Watch it white B----". Seriously. They'd glare and make comments. For some reason, a lot of native girls around here are hostile, angry, violent, bitter beings. I feel like I have to prove myself more than the rest just to be accepted. I've gone above and beyond to learn about my culture and our traditions. Sadly, I don't see many "full bloods" doing the same. The weird thing is, it seems like only white people, half breeds, or 1 quarter blooded indians are truly interested in learning the culture. People would call us "fakes" and wanna-bes and what not.

The way I see it, blood quantum doesn't make you native american. I know a girl who claims to be full blooded. She loves to shop, she likes to litter the land, only hunts for sport, hates camping and the out doors, knows absolutely nothing about our culture and refuses to learn and all the while, she goes around calling women like me "fake --- wanna-be native B----es". If she ever reads this: Please...stop embarrassing yourself. Coming from the girl with false lashes, blue contact lenses, blond high lights, expensive shoes and , parades around at powwows saying "What's up Niig! How my native peeps doing? It's good to be ndn right now" during the announcers prayer to all the dancers, speaking it in ojibwe. I smile and listen to what he is saying and look at this girl who has no clue. Who's the fake one? Talk about pretending and wanna be's.

My uncle, who is only a quarter, is medicine man. He looks completely white, yet he knows the language, speaks it, lives it, lives as traditionally as humanly possible in this day in age, is always doing ceremony, he does everything. People will call him a wanna be.

Like I said, blood quantum has nothing to do with being native american. Not in my book.

OjibaSwede.

[avvaa05]

`I understand (as I'm sure do many others from all walks of life) what it is like to be multi-ethnic/multi-racial/mixed-blood/etc....etc....ETC! According to some from both sides, you never really fit in anywhere and on racial surveys you're known only as "OTHER". Nice, right? As a child, (I'm sure) it can sometimes be confusing and disheartening and as an adult it can sometimes be frustrating. But I would say that the best you can do is to walk your path as best you can and not concern yourself too much with the limited thinking of other people. In the end, the only one that can pave the road to your heart and your healing and understanding is you. It sounds as if you are in the midst of a journey to do so. Keep moving forward for you and forget the small minds. ) That is their path.....not yours, so don't let them take you on it with them. ;o)

[wolfwarrior (deleted)]

`I know where she is coming from completely. I live in a homeless shelter where my spirit is constantly under attack from the religious extremists and down right racist people. I struggle every day with learning my heritage. I have some native features which I think came from someone I hope is my great great great grandfather. Deep inside I believe my spirit to be 100% native, its just housed in a body thats not exactly mixed race. On paper I have to check the white box even if I know deep down that is not the right designation for me. I have had some elders teach me of my heritage including my adopted mom. The more I learn the more at peace I am. My only goal is to do what I was put here to do and help our people. Dating is very rough on me. I have dated some really nasty people and have had my heart severly broken. Despite I know my path. I cry at night because I don't have the one I am meant to be with by my side. I find it hard to find a nice native girl to settle down with and raise a family. The older I get, the more hope I loose. I hope when I transfer to my 4 year school in January, things will get a lot better. I wont apologize for what I believe both in the way of life and of the heart. I will be supportive, caring, loving (unconditionally), romantic and faithful even if it means all I know is suffering for the rest of my life. Its all I know up to now. I try not to let people get to me when I know what I want to do will help all of them. I just hope I don't lose my faith. I am not doing any of this for fame, money or power. I just want to know who I am, where I come from, where I am going and what can I do to make our world better. I can't imagine living life without love or family.